People who stutter know painfully well what stuttering feels like. But it's actually quite difficult to explain exactly what stuttering is. It's a question impossible to sort out in one meeting, or, for that matter, ten. That's the reason I want to open up the discussion here and ask what stuttering is to you. There are a two definitions that resonate with me:
- Stuttering is the feeling of loss of control over one's speech.
- Stuttering is what we do to try to avoid stuttering.
I like these definitions for what they say about the opposite of stuttering: one, it means having a sense of control over one's speech; and two, it involves letting go of avoidances. This is a good reminder for me that what's important isn't so much never to stumble on words, but not to let stuttering run my life. I'm in charge, not my blocks.
We tackled another complex issue at our meeting: how to be open about stuttering without apologizing for it. A group member confessed that he's still working on not saying I'm sorry I stutter when he's talking to a customer service center, for example. It's essential to educate others about what stuttering is but at the same time to stand up for ourselves as stutterers. The feeling of being less than can be deeply ingrained, especially in adult stutterers; learning to think of ourselves as equal to people who don't stutter is probably the most difficult but at the same time most rewarding work we can do.
Finally, I'd like to pass on a book recommendation given to me by a group member: John Harrison's Redefining Stuttering. It's a PDF-format book you can download for free. It approaches stuttering in a sophisticated, thoughtful and holistic way, which I find extremely useful.
