We talked about our often excessive concern with what others think about the way we speak. One member described the feeling of amazement and relief he experienced when he realized that most people he interacted with either didn't notice or didn't care about his stutter.
On the other hand, there are times when we have every right to worry about how our stuttering is perceived. It matters what our bosses, our teachers, or others who have authority over us, think about us. In such situations, it's important to strike a balance between explaining what's happening with our speech and also standing up for ourselves.
As Harrison notes, it's very hard for many people who stutter to be self-assertive. As an exercise at our meeting, we took turns talking about one positive aspect of ourselves. It felt quite uncomfortable. We're very used to thinking about what's wrong with ourselves and how we can improve it. It's much more difficult to remember that we have good qualities, some of them as a direct result of stuttering.
More than one person in our group said: if I wasn't a stutterer, I'd very likely be an arrogant and selfish you-know-what. Stuttering has taught many of us to listen, to empathize with others, to be kind. Others mentioned positive aspects of themselves unconnected to stuttering: discipline, being good at sports, curiosity, intelligence.
They may be hard to find, these reasons to feel good about ourselves, but they're there. My hope this holiday season is that you find them and hold on to them--not only in yourself, but in those around you. Their challenge might not be stuttering, but they need kindness and understanding just as much as we do. Happy Holidays!
On the other hand, there are times when we have every right to worry about how our stuttering is perceived. It matters what our bosses, our teachers, or others who have authority over us, think about us. In such situations, it's important to strike a balance between explaining what's happening with our speech and also standing up for ourselves.
As Harrison notes, it's very hard for many people who stutter to be self-assertive. As an exercise at our meeting, we took turns talking about one positive aspect of ourselves. It felt quite uncomfortable. We're very used to thinking about what's wrong with ourselves and how we can improve it. It's much more difficult to remember that we have good qualities, some of them as a direct result of stuttering.
More than one person in our group said: if I wasn't a stutterer, I'd very likely be an arrogant and selfish you-know-what. Stuttering has taught many of us to listen, to empathize with others, to be kind. Others mentioned positive aspects of themselves unconnected to stuttering: discipline, being good at sports, curiosity, intelligence.
They may be hard to find, these reasons to feel good about ourselves, but they're there. My hope this holiday season is that you find them and hold on to them--not only in yourself, but in those around you. Their challenge might not be stuttering, but they need kindness and understanding just as much as we do. Happy Holidays!
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