November 28 Meeting Update: Support System

One question that comes up again and again at our meetings is why speech therapy is so rarely effective long-term. Many people in our support group have had speech therapy at some point in their lives. Yet after the first few months of excitement with the new fluency-shaping techniques, and of wonderful progress in the therapist's office, they find themselves slipping back into old habits of speech. All too soon, the gains they've made in therapy are lost.

As a result, they begin to think that being a stutterer means there's something fundamentally wrong with them that cannot be changed. They blame themselves for not working hard enough, for getting discouraged, for not being able to keep up the same level of motivation they had when they were going to speech therapy. They put the whole weight of the problem on their own shoulders, and they expect to carry it all by themselves.

The truth is, however, that we can't do it alone. Speaking is by definition something we do with other people. We can't change the way we speak without the cooperation and support of other people. It's not easy to acknowledge that. We've been hurt so often by other people's comments about our speech that we're reluctant to open up and ask them to lend us a hand, to be understanding and patient.

Luckily, it's not necessary for the whole world to be on our side. Even one person is enough. My co-leader, Matt, checks in with his mentor at work once a week to make sure he's on track with his speech goals. His mentor doesn't know much about stuttering and speech therapy, but he keeps Matt accountable to himself. I check in with my sister, who also doesn't know much about speech therapy, but she has the ability to be hard on me and at the same time kind, which is exactly what I need.

Of course for all of us the support group meetings are essential. They're the best reminder that, as the National Stuttering Association motto goes, we are not alone. That community is always there for us. I myself am so grateful for that. Without it, I couldn't have gotten as far as I have in becoming a fluent and confident speaker.