October 14 Meeting Update: The Phone--A Potential Time Bomb

One member described it as a bomb, and if you think about it as a person who stutters, it can be. It sits there, ready and able to go off anytime. The unknown timing of the ring, the thought of... If this does ring, I'll have to answer it. Even worse is the question of how I will communicate once I'm on the phone. Will I block? Will I make sense? What will other people think when I'm on the phone?

As simple as a phone may be for communication everyday, it can shape the direction of a stutterer in avoidance. This avoidance can only be dealt with for so long before we can move forward and recognize that this issue needs to be addressed. Some successful ways have been to seize the moment and just answer the phone; taping yourself; calling friends; and calling small businesses. Little by little we'll get a handle on the fear and defuse this phone bomb.

Reading out loud is always an important part of our meetings too. This meeting we read Katherine Preston's blog piece, "Stuttering and the Power of Powerless Communication." She writes about embracing powerless communication and how it specifically relates to stutterers and how everyone can harness its power to generate trust and respect. In his book Give and Take Adam Grant states that when it comes to collaboration, "we are more inclined to hire, promote and value people who communicate powerlessly. This includes: talking tentatively, asking people questions, giving them the joy of talking, asking for advice and being open to our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, not just our strengths."

In her post, Preston writes:

"When writing Out With It I discovered how often people are drawn to stutterers, how likeable they seem to be. At first I balked against the discovery, worrying that the attraction was perhaps born of pity. However, the more people I spoke to, the more I realized it was the opposite – they were drawn to the stutterer’s courage and lack of artifice. In a world full of noise and nonsense, stutterers were seen as somehow trustworthy and genuine. Because their speech had nothing to do with their competence, it did not demean them in their audiences’ eyes. Rather it raised them up.

The idea that something that we often perceive as a weakness can actually be an important asset was a personal breakthrough. Grant proves that the idea is applicable to anyone wishing to improve their communication.

Everyone has a weakness, whether it be their weight, their height, their looks, their clumsiness etc. Often our weaknesses have nothing to do with our competence, but we try to hide them to appear in control or knowledgeable or attractive. In actuality, when we speak in a way that reveals our shortcomings and expresses vulnerability, people can relate to us as a human beings. They are attracted to us."

Our group meeting liked this post and insight very much. It seems like instead of hiding our stutter, we can be upfront with it on job interviews, and when meeting new clients or customers. People remember us more, it separates us from the the masses and makes us more human... potentially opening more door ways.

by Matt