July 10 Meeting Update: Be Present

During introductions, one group member shared an incident at the grocery store: he stuttered while asking where a product was, and the person he was speaking to laughed. This is a fear many of us have. It's not just fear of the laughter, but fear of not knowing how to respond to the laughter and how to deal with the feelings of shame it can cause.

Here's the simple but difficult answer: tell the other person about your stutter. It may feel weird to have this conversation during a casual encounter. After all, is it really worth it to talk about your stutter with the dry cleaning clerk or the person taking your order at Subway? It takes time, and everybody's always in a hurry.

It matters, though, because of the amazing effect that being open about stuttering has on our lives. One member shared how during a game with his friends he told everyone, at the start, that he stutters. Because he stopped worrying about his stutter, he really enjoyed the game! Many of us have been in social situations where we're so worried about stuttering that we miss everything else going on around us. We don't remember the names of people we've met; we don't really hear what they have to say. We're absent from our own lives!

Another question that came up was what to do when you get pulled over by the police, since a stutter is often seen as a sign of drunkenness. A great suggestion by a group member was to get a note from your doctor that you stutter, which you can hand to the police officer. It may seem like the easy way out. But in spite of our best intentions, sometimes nervousness takes over and we can't control our stutter very well. It's good to help ourselves in any way we can.

Towards the end of the meeting we talked about the World Cup and had some lively exchanges. Enjoy the final game on Sunday! And remember to be present for your own life. Don't let stuttering stand between you and all the many wonderful things out there to be learned and experienced.