Sunday, May 29, 2016

Meeting Updates Out of Chronological Order

Hello All,

I realize that the meeting updates are out of chronological order. That's because several updates were not put on the blog when they should have been. If I can figure out a way to get them in order I will.

Tommy G.

Meeting Update - 3/24/16

Although there were only 3 present, we had an enjoyable meeting with interesting discussions. We started with introductions & the question: “What place anywhere in the world that you haven’t been would you like to visit?”  One person, who has traveled a lot, would like to go to Bali, as it is becoming  a world renowned tech center & he’s a “techie.” Another has always wanted to visit Spain. The 3rd would eventually like to visit Italy, as his parents were immigrants from there, & he’s curious about the land of his ancestry. 
 
We then went to the night's discussion topic : “Knowing what you now know about stuttering in general & about your stuttering & how it’s affected your life, if you could live your life over again, what would you do differently concerning your stuttering? “  One member believes he started stuttering in elementary school when he was made to write with his right hand when he was naturally left handed. This was interesting as at a previous meeting this topic came up, & a speech therapy student said this theory has been proven untrue. Still, our member feels very strongly that it caused him to start stuttering & if he could do it over, he wouldn’t allow himself to be forced to write right handed.
Another member said he started stuttering when, as a child, he began mimicking the stutter of a baby sitter he had. This is another controversial theory about stuttering, & I don’t know if any research has been done on it.  Our member said he would not mimic his stuttering baby sitter if he could do it over again!
The third member said he wouldn’t hide his stuttering as much as he did when he was younger, as this really dominated his life.
 
We talked about the fear that people who stutter have about public speaking. On this topic, one member brought up a “TED Talk” about Megan Washington, the Australian singer/songwriter who stutters. Here’s the link: https://www.ted.com/talks/megan_washington_why_i_live_in_mortal_dread_of_public_speaking?language=en
 
We talked a little about the poor attendance at meetings lately.  One member suggested contacting local speech therapists to refer their clients to our meetings. 
 
By now, you’ve been notified that Tammy Flores, Executive Director of the NSA, will be visiting us on April 7th, when there will be a get-together at BJ's Restaurant and Brewery at the Block of Orange. The address is 460 The City Drive, Orange, CA.  Dr. Gerald Maguire, well known local speech therapist & university professor, will also be there. More details to follow. If you haven’t RSVPd yet, please do so ASAP.
 
That’s it for now. Next regular meeting is on Thursday, April 14. 
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NSA Orange County Meeting Update 5/26/16



There were 5 people at the meeting including a new member – welcome Deanna! Deanna comes to us on the recommendation of her speech therapist. Deanna’s mother joined us.  Family members of people who stutter are always welcome at our meetings.

We started with introductions & the question: “If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?” (Our introductory questions are always icebreakers, designed to get everyone to participate at the beginning of a meeting. There is a method to my madness.) Two people wanted to be some kind of bird, perhaps an eagle, as it would be cool to be able to fly above everything and easily go where you want. One said he also might want to be a wolf:  he has a Belgian Shepherd he is fond of that resembles a wolf.  Another person would like to be a leopard: pound for pound, the leopard is the world’s strongest land animal. That way, he said, “Nobody would mess with me.”  (Go to https://youtu.be/toJ7Kuus7e8).
The fourth person chose a dog as she has a pet dog she likes a lot.

Next we did Table Topics, which we haven’t done in a while. Topics included:
·      Your favorite vacation
·      As a person who stutters, how do you handle public speaking?
·      What is something you do that is a waste of time, but you do it anyway?
·      If you could travel in time, would you go forward or backward?
This last was one of the most interesting in a long time.

Then we discussed some mysterious aspects of stuttering. We’re all familiar with some of these: we don’t stutter when we sing, talk in unison with others, or talk to babies or pets. However, there are others. For example, one member said that sometimes it’s as if he “forgets” he stutters. He can sometimes be talking (even on the phone), say for five or ten minutes, and afterward realize that he didn’t stutter, or he may have stuttered but wasn’t aware of it. This second possibility, stuttering but not being aware of it, is the way all stutterers were when they were children before they became aware of their stuttering.  The point was made that not being aware of your stuttering is really the same as not stuttering, as far as the person who stutters is concerned.

Another mysterious aspect of stuttering mentioned is that most stutterers stutter more (or less) with certain types of people: peers, authority figures, & work colleagues to name a few. Two people said that they stutter more when they are pulled over by a policeman.  Also, the subject matter or topics in a speaking situation affect the amount of stuttering. One person noted he stutters more when talking about something he cares about or is important to him.  If we are being judged in some way (not on our speech) also affects the degree of stuttering, for example giving an oral presentation at work or school.
All of this seems to point to that, even though it has been pretty well established that the cause of stuttering is neurological, psychological factors also play a big role. The psychological factors seem to trigger the neurological base.

That’s all for now. The next meeting is Thursday, June 9. (How can it be June already?) Same time & place. See you all there.


NSA Meeting Update - April 14, 2016

We had a great meeting discussion with 5 people present.  We started the meeting off with introductions but changed it up this time.  We had people ask questions about another and introduce them to the group along with their interest, travel likes and other related points of fact.

I would like to think that this exercise is useful since one has to ask and listen and second be able to have good eye contact and introduce that person to a room.  It's probably not a person who stutters does that often.

Tonight's topic discussion was Acceptance.   What does it me to say that a person accepts stuttering?  This is a complex question and perhaps is better understood with age.  With age it gives us confidence and wisdom.  It also brings with it a large laundry bag of failed situations that shape who we are.  However, it's father time that perhaps can allow us to come to deal with it and being able to deal with stuttering allows us a better chance to be OK that we stutter.   Perhaps, shifting the paradigm from a problem to a characteristic can make it easier.  We can tolerate it more so that it doesn't run our lives, we can like ourselves more and we accept that speech is fluid with life's stages.  The more pressure we put on ourselves to being fluent will create more struggle and that equals more trouble.  Finding a happy medium can reduce stress and pressure to preform and increase fluency.  The last stage once one finally accepts their stuttering, is understanding how to dictate the terms of stuttering and how to apply those in public.  

Last note, be positive, manage what you can control and don't beat yourself up.  

Thanks,

Matt


Next meeting is April 28, 2016 with Tom Granata

NSA Meeting Update - 4/28/2016

Six people were present for this meeting. It was the largest turnout in a while. Hope the trend continues & thanks to all who attended!

We started with introductions & the question: "What's the most interesting thing you did in the past week?"  Two people said going to the Coachella Music Festival was easily most interesting. Both said it was windy & incredibly mobbed, but overall they had a good time. One especially enjoyed seeing one of his favorite bands - Guns N' Roses. (I didn't know these guys were still around. I guess they got Axl & Slash out of mothballs.)  One member went to the Newport Beach Film Festival & saw an interesting Chinese movie - "Red Mountain" - his highlight this week. He added that he purposely went to a foreign film with subtitles because his hearing has gotten so bad, he has trouble understanding dialogue in domestic films. A visit to the ear doctor & a hearing aid are coming soon. (What? Did somebody say something? Never mind). He might have chosen the Chinese film anyway:  it was good & he regularly sees foreign films. Another member's highlight was a dinner with other members of his profession. He got a chance to practice his fluency techniques. Two members said their highlight was going to local shooting ranges & enjoying target shooting. (Guns, but no roses.)

Next we (finally) showed a movie about stuttering - "Voice in Exile." Thanks to the member who brought in a laptop that played DVDs, we were able to connect to the big screen at the meeting place! "Voice in Exile" is great short movie made about 30 years ago. The director, Mark Kaplan, stutters and had wanted to make a film that was an accurate portrayal of what it's like to be a person who stutters - in this case a 17 year old high school student. The actor who played this role (not a person who stutters) did an amazing job. Everyone agreed it was a highly accurate depiction - both of how stuttering looks to others (and to us for that matter), & of the tremendous anxieties, frustrations, disappointments, and even despair caused by stuttering, especially in high school. Rather than give away the plot, I strongly advise you see this film anyway you can. I know it's on Vimeo; don't know the quality. Maybe you can still get it on DVD or from another streaming service. We had an interesting discussion after the film. Everyone agreed it brought back memories of high school days & all the problems caused by their stuttering. One person said his heart started beating much harder as he watched the film, saying it put him in touch very strongly with all the bad memories of his high school stuttering days. Hope it was cathartic for him.  In some ways, I thought the film was superior to the "King's Speech," especially because it very accurately showed severe stuttering blocks. The guy in the "King's Speech"  seemed like he just had something stuck in his throat, rather than having blocks. Each to his own.

That's all for now. Next meeting is on Thursday, May 12, led by the one and only Matt de Heras. Don't miss it!

March 10, 2016 Meeting Update


I wanted to thank those that participated in the Survey monkey poll.  We had about 19 people respond and the goal is to use the data to create a better meeting experience for the group.  There's many reasons why someone attends a meeting, but the main reason is that it's a safe place for people who stutter.  Once the data is processed I would like to share the findings too.

We had 5 members and 1 Fullerton graduate student present at the meeting last night.   Introductions first followed by what's been going.  We had a round table discussion on work place stuttering.  Should we discuss with co workers or Manager's that we do stutter?  Should it be viewed as a disability?  And if so, does the fact that we've made notice that we do stutter, affect our ability to preform that job?  When one hears a person who stutters, does one assume our IQ is lower than the average person who doesn't stutter?    Stuttering is hard to understand and it affects so many people differently.  Each person figures out a way to make it work and thus deals with it in their own way.  The following diagram is an investor's psychological phases one deals with in regards to the stock markets...bull market or bear markett.  Perhaps these are similar to what someone who stutters goes thru...but optimism is the key.  Next meeting is Thursday, March 24 led by Tom.  See you then!

Matt

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